Negotiating Fatherhood by Thomas Fletcher

Author:Thomas Fletcher
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9783030197841
Publisher: Springer International Publishing

Daughters

To help understand the relationship between fathers, their children and sport, I initially set out to establish whether fathers held a preference for having sons or daughters. Given what we know about sport and its links with masculinity, and anecdotal evidence of a special relationship existing between fathers and sons, coupled with the fact that fathers in this study were sporty themselves, I assumed, rightly or wrongly, that fathers would have had an overwhelming preference for sons. In actuality, the opposite was true in a number of cases. That some fathers would express a preference for daughters, in itself, was not entirely unexpected, though their rationale certainly was. Despite his interest in sport, Harvey (late 40s, daughter aged 14) expressed a preference for a daughter on the basis that he did not feel girls were expected to play sport. This was a curious statement. Why wouldn’t he want his offspring to share his passion for sport? As our conversation progressed, Harvey’s rationale became much clearer. For Harvey, it was not de facto that he did not want his daughter to be involved in sport, rather he did not want her to feel obliged to follow in his footsteps (see Chap. 7). Harvey felt he was much less likely to impose his interests on a daughter compared to a son because he would not hold the same expectations of her being sporty. He spoke openly about having agonised over the scenario where he had a son who was not interested in sport, or was not very good at it. Presented with this scenario, he believed he would have been disappointed:It sounds strange for somebody who plays a lot of sport, but I did want a girl, rather than a boy.

TF: Why?

I see it in other people; the way some of the dads are with the lads at the football or cricket. I wouldn’t have wanted to be sort of overbearing with it.

TF: Do you think you would have been if you’d had a boy?

I don’t think I would have been, but I think—and this could be quite shallow—if he wasn’t very good at sport or didn’t have any interest in it, I think that might have upset me a little bit.

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